Here is My Silence

by Alycia Pirmohamed

 

This antagonistic
serrated

version of myself is not unlike

the coyotes we watched
stalk the ice.

I want to explain.
To tell you how these fires

around me
were never started by

my hands.

But I do not explain
how you are a universal

experience I long for.

I am not that coyote,
that half-bitten

nail
shaped truth. Yes,

sometimes I stay awake
reading

not science fiction, not
my favourite lyric

poems,

but brutality.
Here is the ebb and flow

of anger, and enough
sorrow to last

three more days.
Sorrow I, Sorrow II

Sorrow III—do you
understand

that this is the title
of everything I make?

I see my eyes everywhere,
in all things

and when I say eyes,
I mean envy.

Believe me. Sometimes
I whisper

in the dark as your arm

reaches across the skin
it took months

to let you see.
I can’t blame

you for not listening.
I blame you

for not listening.

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ALYCIA PIRMOHAMED

Alycia is a Canadian-born poet living in Scotland, where she is a Ph.D. student in creative writing at the University of Edinburgh. Her work has recently appeared, or is forthcoming, in Gutter Magazine, The Poetry Book Society, Tupelo Quarterly, PRISM International, Third Coast Magazine and Prairie Schooner, and was selected for the 2018 edition of the Best New British and Irish Poets Anthology. 

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